How You See Yourself vs How Others See You

This might sting… Our body is a rather accurate reflection of our current level of control in our life. How other perceive you might not be on your ‘ego of concern’, here’s why, this question in this article, might transform your thinking.

I mean, “we don’t care WTF anyone thinks of us” right?!… I have this opinion myself for the most part…yet, it’s worth considering, how we show up is a mirror of our lifestyle.

Our control. A mirror of our commitment to ourselves and a direct indicator of our capacity to perform.

Before you reject this notion, here is a super simple example:

You see 2 cars… they are both 15 years old.

One has been cared for very well, it ‘runs’ smooth, no racketing noise, no obvious damage you can see. Nice exterior, impressive looking machine given its age and milage.

The other car.. has signs or rust, signs or wear and tear, it’s engine is a little noisy, rackety and doesn’t sound like it’s been service.

Which ‘car’ do you put your trust in?

Onto to article…

How ‘people’ see us, subconsciously, matters.

Even if ‘we’ say we do not care, it makes sense to put some focus on this question. It might sting, but it may possibly serve you / us.

The questions that ‘sting’ are usually the ones that resonate with us and we avoid answering right.

“How can this guy take care of me well enough, but he can’t even take care of himself?!”

Damn, did that sting?

Did you respond with a reaction of resistance or even anger?

I mean, ‘who judges people like that?!’..

Well… it comes down to many things, even our own evolution!

Yes, we are ‘hard wired’ to subconsciously judge our colleagues, possible partners and ourselves from a place of survival, safety, potential lovers and potential partners to reproduce with.

The ‘strongest survives’. So as we generally are exposed to other influences from the beliefs of our parents, friends and teachers in school as we grow, the media,T/V, print etc. We subconsciously ‘acquire’ a version of what we ‘perceive’ to be a winner, to be attractive, to be strong and tough, to be full of energy and a leader.

We also acquire the total opposite, thus making assumptions from this past, from our past ‘stories’ we acquire over time. About who we ‘see’ as ‘attractive. Who we see as ‘lazy’ or weak, as ‘not a good fit’ or as weak. Let’s agree…

Who would you be scared of walking down the street… Mr Bean… or Mike Tyson?…
Who would we believe on first impression to be weak? a coward? a bully? Impression how we see ourselves and how others SEE/ PERCEIVE us is very much, not only a powerful vision we can influence, thus putting our goals, dreams and intentions in a higher rate of success, we can also inspire others to do the same.

Imagine ‘James Bond’.

Clean, crisp suit, sharp, tailored fit. Strong frame, nice shoes, eloquently fitted tie and cufflinks. Omega watch. Tom Ford fragrance. Aston Martin.

Would your perception of James Bond, as you see this figure, on stage, on a sales webinar, leading a meeting, delivering a presentation be one of someone you’d more likely assume could ‘lead you’?

Someone you’d like to be around, hoping some of his ‘swarve confidence’ would rub off onto you? Would you assume this guy has it all together, is in control? Yes. We would have to agree, this impression would be one most taken.

Imagine… the 40lbs, over fat, middle aged guy, same age as ‘Mr Bond’ yet his suit doesn’t fit, the buttons are under force to keep closed…his shirt hanging over his large belly, his hair might be messy, half shaven, his cheeks are red and he looks tired and somewhat fatigued. His shoes are scruffy, I mean he might even ‘not be able to reach them to keep them clean’. Maybe we make assumptions already about his possible ‘inability to even take care of HIMSELF…’How can he LEAD/TAKE CARE of me?!’

Yes, he might be a ‘business genius, able to create wealth and abundance worth millions.. yet, I wonder, how much energy and success remain, to achieve success in other areas of his life? His sex life? his passionate fulfilling relationships? The energy to play with the kids all afternoon. You get the point.

No matter how we ‘swing it’ how we ‘show up’ matters as it’s one indicator of what’s going on in our life.

It’s one indicator of the balance we have, of the energy and focus we have available. The inability for us to ‘show up at our best’ – we ourselves might ignore. Others, do notice. They do. Our wives notice. Our colleagues and our prospects, all notice.

How is this effecting other areas of our life?

Do we realize, our actions, what we commit to, the vacations we take, the commitment business wise we feel confident in committing to and following through with, all are made by the side of our subconscious mind, the most powerful.

This has been a subject that is quite fascinating for many reasons. Mostly as we rarely have HONEST conversations with ourselves, our loved ones or friends about how THEY perceive us.

If we ever do, they tell ‘fibs’ (English for small lies) to not upset you or to even break friendships or relationships. Instead we’re told what we’d like to hear ‘you look great’ or ‘you can’t really notice your belly honey don’t worry about it’.. etc.

So the purpose of this article is not one of judgement or to ridicule, but rather to support and care about those enough, to say the things, that might ‘sting’ as to prompt you to honour yourself, better.

Take care of everything else less, give yourself back that time to honor you, so you can, do everything else better.

People notice when this area of your life is under control. They see it in your new found confidence. They see your vitality, and strong posture. You present yourself better, you might start shopping at your favorite store again, like you used to, as it fits great again.

Those beach vacations, those adventure trips in the mountains, those fun filled activities with the kids, are now not one of dread, you actually look forward to them.


This transfers into your business, the confidence, the happiness, the energy and re-found power you gained. Enables you to perform, with more ease and flow, with more certainty and more commitment, more often.

My friends, how you see yourself is way more important than we take notice. You deserve to reveal, the version of you, you know you have waiting inside, to enjoy life. The version of you, that attracts your prospects or possible lovers into your space. To reignite the flames in your life and be a powerful leader in your niche, business or household.

Your wife, and loved ones, deserve the version of you that’s fit and healthy, that has energy and focus that lasts the day. You feel happier about yourself when you feel good, when you look good, when your confidence is high and you are strong, firm and have the vitality of your younger years… Yes… the version of you… you know you can be.

So… imagine for a second… How you would feel if you woke up today, looking at your reflection, at the version of you, you know you can be.

I call this the ‘morning visualization’. It’s a simple method I use, to teach your ‘subconscious mind’ to believe that you are that version, of you today, hence, positively influence your actions for the rest of the day.

It’s amazing how when you unleash the version of you that shows up at your best… all areas of your life, benefit.

Latest posts by Darren Casey (see all)
No tags for this post.

Leave a comment:

Latest posts